And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
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I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
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She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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