we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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