I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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