We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize