3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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