Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize