Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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