pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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