I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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