im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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