fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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