Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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