His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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