Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize