who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize