My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize