EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize