Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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