loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
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come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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