I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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