Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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