Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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