i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
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Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
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There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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