I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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