they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
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finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
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He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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