There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize