who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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