yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize