OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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