what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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