I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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