At least make sure they are 18
Why
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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