Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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  (510): So drunk, too bad you don't want this http://tfl.nu/0z98
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"

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  (814): I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?" http://tfl.nu/fmqf
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.

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  (908): she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up. http://tfl.nu/hjpb
  Replies (24) Good night (3883) Bad night (972)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"

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  (317): she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES" http://tfl.nu/88gh
  Replies (46) Good night (3932) Bad night (1035) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.

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  (701): My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying. http://tfl.nu/rpdb
  Replies (32) Good night (6985) Bad night (580) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.

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  (404): Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n. http://tfl.nu/ek1y
  Replies (20) Good night (4580) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.

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  (815): It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/el01
  Replies (28) Good night (5954) Bad night (768) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"

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  (313): Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ" http://tfl.nu/pk0t
  Replies (41) Good night (14878) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.

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  (203): I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season. http://tfl.nu/xinh
  Replies (24) Good night (5066) Bad night (1049) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

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  (713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw
  Replies (4) Good night (2468) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed

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  (901): Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed http://tfl.nu/avah
  Replies (9) Good night (1445) Bad night (4258) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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  (703): drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip http://tfl.nu/b5at
  Replies (12) Good night (2897) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him

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  (443): Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him http://tfl.nu/oz4m
  Replies (7) Good night (2573) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.

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  (604): He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there. http://tfl.nu/lavl
  Replies (10) Good night (1916) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex

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  (843): i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex http://tfl.nu/fymj
  Replies (8) Good night (1857) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt

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