well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
we should paint friendship bongs
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