did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize