OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
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I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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