Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize