My first STD was from a foam party
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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