you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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