lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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