Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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