omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize