I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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