it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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