who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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