I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize