I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize