Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize