I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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