you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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