I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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