Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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