My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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