Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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