Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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